Reacting vs. Responding
There are two ways we can come back to something; reacting and responding. I’ve come to believe there is a difference between the two; reacting is more immediate and instinctual whereas responding requires a little more time and space to process and consider your next move before you make it.
A reaction is immediate and fairly uncensored. Sometimes, a reaction can be indicative of things like underlying views or biases, especially strong ones; strong emotions (like anger for example), or previous trauma. For example, a dog who previously got lost during a thunderstorm now becomes anxious to the point of visibly shaking or hiding every time a storm hits. The dog does this without thinking. Everyone has reactions- it’s natural, ok and not necessarily something to beat ourselves up about, but rather, an opportunity to learn.
A response, on the other hand, takes space. The response comes after you have processed and considered the input and informs what you might say or do next. Allowing or creating this space can be hard, because in a way, you are fighting against natural instinct. But, it can also be important, because responding can be an enabler to better communication and even more effective assertion.
If we can learn to identify when we are reacting and slow down in order to respond, it can help improve communication and prevent things getting worse. Continually doing this can help us become more aware and more able to recognise when we may have reacted versus when we’ve been able to stop, pause and make space to consider a response.
What reacting and responding look like is different for everyone, and it can sometimes be helpful to have support while you’re learning more about it for yourself. If you’d like to walk that path with someone at Illuminating Insights, please get in touch.
If you are interested in exploring this topic deeper, you may like to check out the following;
previous Illuminating Insights blog on biases