Have you ever noticed that when it comes to celebrating someone else, it usually comes fairly easily, but when you’re the subject of the celebration, you want to sink in your seat in hopes of becoming invisible? You’re not the only one. It’s something that resonates for many people.
Sometimes, being the subject of celebrations makes sense- a wedding or birthday for example. But, even then, when it’s expected, you might still have that ‘please make me invisible‘ wish. That is something that could arise for a number of reasons, such as discomfort or wondering why someone might want to celebrate you, or even, whether you deserve it. You might also feel a little bit awkward being on the receiving end, unsure what to say except ‘thank you’, but left wondering whether that’s enough.
How to respond or receive it is one thing, but another question revolves around the why- why might someone want to celebrate you? Of course there are differences in particular situations and with different people, but for me, it’s often about celebrating who someone is, or the difference they’ve made. It’s about gratitude, appreciation and recognition. Where some get embarrassed about being the centre of attention, for me, it feels important to highlight good or add to the good in someone’s life, esspecially when, as disabled people particularly, the negative often gets more airtime or attention.
So, why might someone want to celebrate you? Maybe they can see something you haven’t noticed or that feels ordinary. Maybe they’re hoping they can help you see a little more of what they see.
I invite you to, for a a moment, forget the how and think about that why someone might want to celebrate you. What might it mean to simply have the good thing acknowledged? How might the acknowledgement feel? And what might it mean having that recognition come from the person offering it?
Especially existing inside systems and models that seem to have negatives in the spotlight, I wonder how often the good is actually acknowledged, recognised or paid attention to, let alone celebrated. Maybe part of the struggle is that we’re simply not used to being celebrated. Maybe that’s part of why it feels uncomfortable, unfamiliar or awkward. But receiving recognition isn’t necessarily something you have to agree with. Certainly not straight away. It can be something you simply allow yourself to hear. Maybe, it’s something you even get curious about- what’s led them to say this? What have I done? Could it actually be true?
Further Resources;
Example of how you might respond