Humour- Laughing With, Not At
Australian comedian Hannah Gadsby’s breakout special Nanette had a lot of revelations about humour and the impacts of humour on trauma. For example, the fact that a joke often requires an experience to be sealed off at it’s trauma point in order for the humour to stick. ‘In order to finish on a laugh,' Hannah explains, ‘you have to end with punchlines… [and] punchlines need trauma because punchlines need tension and tension feeds trauma.’ This is because while jokes have two parts; a beginning and a middle, stories have three; a beginning, a middle and an end.
A popular form of humour is self deprecating humour. But, self deprecation, especially from someone who lives marginalised, Hannah explains in Nanette, ‘is not humility. It’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak. In order to seek permission to speak.’ If this is the case, I can’t help wondering what that would teach an individual about their worth, even inadvertently…
These observations got me thinking about the impacts of humour when it comes at the cost of erasing trauma because the full story can’t be told if the humour is to be preserved. But, as Hannah points out, humour and laughter can also connect us. It’s not always bad or harmful. Recently, I got to watch another comedian with disability. Their set included anecdotes about disability, but not the self deprecating kind. It was the kind of humour that was funny because it’s true, and for me, it landed even deeper because it resonated for me as a fellow disabled person- there were things I’d also experienced, or similar things that landed in the same feelings they were getting at. In this way, their humour acted as a catalyst for connection. It was less likely to seal off trauma. Instead, it shared it in a way that was relatable and human.
So maybe then, it’s about being considered about the use of humour- does my joke hit something raw? Does it feel ok? When people laugh, does it feel like they’re laughing at me, or with me? Just a few questions to think about, but I’m curious about your take on humour- when does it help and when might it harm? When might it facilitate connection? When might it cause a disconnect?
Further Resources:
Nannette (Hannah Gadsby Netflix Special)
When The Joke Goes Too Far: Humour Isn’t Always Harmless (LinkedIn Article)