Some of Us? We’re Just Different
Content Warning- this blog includes discussion of the impacts of marginalisation & othering that may be triggering for some readers. Please proceed with caution.
Being marginalised can make feeling ‘different‘ very familiar. But that doesn’t mean it’s always pleasant. It can be, but a more common experience is having differences be something that sets you apart in a way that’s othering. Being different can sometimes mean having qualities about you twisted into something supposedly ‘bad’ to the point where it can feel like aspects of who you are are ‘wrong‘, or even a crime.
I’ve not seen this more strongly reflected then in the character Elphaba, from Wicked. In her story, Elphaba is someone whose goodness, loyalty and integrity are twisted through rumours and lies spread by others in power. But through it all, she remained fiercely, unapologetically herself. This is what strikes me most about Elphaba, and what draws ne to her character, particularly in the most recent cinematic portrayal by Cynthia Erivo, which has been more powerful and resonant for me personally than any other portrayal of Elphaba I’ve seen before. I strongly suspect this power comes from the authenticity Cynthia is able to bring as a result of their own lived/ living experiences as a marginalised, queer person of colour. This made Elphaba’s strength and courage even more real.
For me, Cynthia’s Elphaba provided an example of being yourself in the face of false, at times deeply damaging portrayals. When things about you are twisted, especially when it’s happened repeatedly, or others begin to believe it as truth, it can be harder to recognise the twisted version for the false lie it is. Maybe in different ways, but I’ve had that experience. So seeing Cynthia’s Elphaba particularly, stay herself, even if she did not go entirely unscathed, reminded me that the lies of others don’t have to define you.
By refusing to become the distorted version she’d been portrayed as (even if she relented with the label), Cynthia’s Elphaba challenges the truth of the misrepresentations about her. When what’s said no longer matches what is for long enough, it can tear at the fabric of those words as truth, exposing them for what they really are.
On the flip side, when you are able to be your truest self, it allows for deeper, more meaningful connections with others. Seeing Cynthia’s Elphaba stand tall and push back to define herself provided me with an example that proved it was possible for me to do the same, and boosted me with a little confidence. I left the movie theatre standing taller, breathing a little easier. It was like Cynthia’s Elphaba had written me a permission slip or whispered in my ear; you’re allowed to take up space. You don’t have to apologise for being yourself. More than that, with all the hype around the films, there were images of her everywhere, so it felt a little like she was walking alongside me too. Even that feeling can help remind you you’re not alone. Knowing you’re not the only one makes things feel steadier. Your different can’t be ‘wrong‘ if there’s someone else who’s different too. Especially if their different looks or feels a little like yours.
Characters can help create this sense of belonging, especially when we haven’t yet found it in our real world. Long before I met anyone else with similar disability effects to me, I clung on to Edward Scissorhands- the closest I could find, but not really like me much at all. I’ve found a community of others with similar experiences since then, but Edward will always have a special place in my heart, especially for the companionship he and his story provided while I waited. Edward gave me a kind of reassurance that being different can be a good thing. That there will be people who see me, not just what sets me apart. He gave me resonance in times I felt like the only one in the world like me, which made me feel a lot less out of place.
Similarly, Cynthia’s Elphaba will always feel like a kindred. She’s someone who’s known pain similar to mine, but who showed me a different way- staying strong, holding your ground, not apologising for who you are. She’s the one I look to when my instincts urge me to shrink. My reminder that I don’t have to.
Belonging can begin with a special character who feels like a friend the moment you see them. Someone who seems to reflect you back to yourself, offers proof of possibility, or simply reminds you that you’re not alone in your experience. Because some of us? We’re just different.
Who or what has reminded you you’re not alone or that you’re allowed to take up space?
Further Resources:
Cinema Therapy on Elphaba (video)